I Just Don't Remember...

~ Okay, so here's the story of where this poem came from. I'm not sure why I started thinking about this subject... I think it might be because a few of my friends are getting divorced and have young children. Thinking of how their kids will have to grow up living in a broken family may have made me think of my own experiences - I'm not really sure. All I know is that one night I was thinking about things and realized that I really couldn't remember my dad living at home with us.

Shortly after that realization, Christmas came along. My sister-in-law, the "new" Kim Dalton, created a small scrapbook for me entitled, "Christmas Through The Years". When I opened up the book and found the above picture on the front page, I had this weird wave of emotion come over me. The reason it was weird was because I had just been thinking about the whole subject of my dad and all. I found it to be my very favorite gift this year. It wasn't a big and expensive gift that I loved, it was the one filled with Christmas memories, including ones with my Dad that touched me tremendously. A poem started rolling through my mind that very minute and I found that I absolutely couldn't go to bed that Christmas night until I had put it down in writing!

I Just Don't Remember...

I just don’t remember
And I find it quite sad,
You living at home with us
Us at home with our dad.

Sometimes I feel cheated,
Sometimes I feel sad,
We could have been quite “normal”
And talked of the fun we had.

But you had to move away
And the rest of us stayed home
We continued to live as a family
And you lived all alone

I do remember you decorating
the garage for my special day,
Streamers way up in the sky
All set for the kiddies to play

But why can’t I remember you
In the mirrors of my mind,
Playing with us and laughing
Or with Easter eggs to find?

Were there Saturday mornings?
Did you help with our fears of the dark?
Were there family dinners?
And days of fun at the park?

I know there’s no such thing as normal
As I sit here writing this poem,
But I just can’t help but wonder
What it was like when you lived at home.

You were my Daddy
And forever you’ll be in my heart,
I just wished I got to grow up
Without us living apart.

There are pictures that prove
that you once lived with us…

But
I just
don’t remember…

Written late night on December 25, 2005 ~